Chapter 32

Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in. 

I slowly stand as I observe the sickening sight that’s fast approaching me.

How the f.uck she could ever sleep with that is beyond me. 

I feel my jaw tick as I remember back to that night three long months ago. The night I was sure I had things made – once and for all. Seeing him at that club was fate. Or so I thought it was at the time.

I could sense his interest in Ava was more than friendly from the way her kept throwing glances her way and licking his plastic lips. Yep he was hooked – line and sinker and I though his shy and sweet persona would do well seeing as though this would be her first “client.” I thought it would break her in nice and easy – I mean how much harm would a faggot like him do right? But then the b!tch goes and falls in love with him! That’s what Shawna told me – that Ava was head over heels in love for some mystery man and that she had never seen her looking so happy.

And that’s when I knew she had to pay. No one takes advantage of Lucas Martin and lives to tell the tale. B!tch thinks her sh!t don’t stink now that she has him and his f.ucking goons by her side, but we’ll see who’s laughing when she sees the state that Shawna’s in.

I mean don’t get me wrong I’m p!ssed that she’s lying in a coma. She’s my top earner and that congressman is gonna wish he had never been born once I’m through with him – he’s cost me and no one gets between me and my money.

But this chick stood merely yards from me should be pulling in some nice little tricks for me by now, between her and her cousin I would have been onto a nice little earner. How the f.cuk did all of this backfire?

I guess I broke my ultimate rule – never do business with anyone you ain’t got dirt on first! 

Hooking him up with Ava was by pure chance and looking back it was a BIG mistake. You see all of my other clients had been acquired only after I was sure I had enough dirt to bury them should they ever step out of line or should they try to take their custom elsewhere.

See in the beginning I had to learn the hard way and pimping two-bit hoes on the boulevard wasn’t enough for me, I knew I was better than that. The grief those tricks would cause me day in day out had a brotha’ running from the law cuz of all the beatings I was dishing out.

That’s when I realized I could do so much better and through a chance meeting with a well-known rapper, lets just say I experienced a more “kosher” way of doing things. See sex sells - an whether you sugar coat it or not there will always be some horny f.ucker out there just dying to get his rocks off. So who better to provide these in demand services than me?

And five years later and thousands of dollars richer I gots me a decent business where every now and then I get to sample the goodies and rub shoulders with some of the most rich and powerful men out there. Sh!t who am I kidding? I’ve even got a few “lady” clients on my books who love to eat the p.ussy and who am I to say no? Money is money and for me it’s all about the Benjamin’s!

“Michael, Ava so nice to see you again,” I say with as much sincerity as I can possibly muster.

I can feel myself grinning from ear to ear when I see his lips curl into a snarl as he protectively throws an arm around Ava’s shoulder drawing her nearer to him and the sight physically repulses me.

What? Does he honestly think I’m gon’ start some sh!t with the Doc and his goons standing right here?

They stop merely yards away and for the first time I really take in his appearance. His shades cover his eyes which p!sses me off no end. I like to be able see into my opponent’s eyes – it’s easier to psyche them out that way, but he shows no sign that he’s going to remove them so I need to think of a plan b.

Dang he butt ugly. How she stand him touching her beats me, what the f.uck she sees in him I’ll never know but what I do know is this – that’s my buffet he’s dinning from and he should know damn well that food ain’t free these days. And that was my hoe he’s been messing with and in time he’ll be sorry he ever asked me to introduce her to him.

“Why are you here?” he spits out, his hate for me evident from his tone of voice.

“Thas my girl laying in that bed why shouldn’t I be here?” I say smooth as butter.

His jaw slightly ticks and she must notice this cuz next thing I know that little hoe whispers something into his ear, seemingly trying to calm his flaring temper and he nods his head before turning to the doctor.

Well, well who knew – the brotha’s got a temper. Maybe this little revelation will be my plan b.

“Can we see Shawna now Dr. Carter?” he says to the Doctor all the while still looking at me.

Dammit. I really thought he would’ve taken the bait. Guess he’s gon’ play hardball.

“I’d like to see her too Dr. Carter—“ 

“NO, no Michael p-please I-I’m begging you don’t let him near her, not again. It’s all his fault I k-know it is. He’s t-the reason she’s here—“ I watch the b!tch sob into his chest as he tries his best to calm her down and I try to act as shocked as I possibly can at her accusations. Damn trying to act all innocent is really hard work but I need the Doc on my side for as long as possible and from the worried look on his face, I’d say he’s only seconds away from calling security on my ass.

“Ava I would never hurt Shawna, why would you say that?” I say with such emotion in my voice that I actually hear it crack slightly… and the Oscar goes to moi for that splendid performance, I really feel like taking a bow right now. Maybe after this pimping business gets too much I should think about a career change? Ha who am I kidding – that would be too much hard work for my liking.

“LIAR,” she screams at me and oh boy if looks could kills I’d be a dead man right about now. The venom that drips for that one word is deathly and her eyes practically bulge from their sockets – f.uck this chick is hot even when angry.

“Uhm Mr. Martin I don’t really know what’s going on here and quite frankly I don’t think I want to know either, but clearly Miss. Phillips is agitated by your presence so for the time being I think it’s be—“ 

Before he can give me my marching orders his pager beeps and like a babbling buffoon he forgets what he was saying and excuses himself for a moment as he makes his way to the reception desk to pick up his message.

“Finally, alone at last eh,” I say whilst cracking my knuckles between my fists as all eyes land on me.

“What do you want Mr. Martin? Haven’t you caused enough grief? Spiking my girl—“ 

“—Your girl?” I interrupt. Man this f.ucker is testing my last nerve, I pull on my shirt collar slightly trying to loosen the grip it has on my neck as I feel my blood begin to boil beneath my skin.

“You mean the hoe I handed to you on a pla—“ 

WHACK 


~~~~


“Miiiiiiiiiiichael Noooooooo,” Ava pulls violently at my arm and I stumble backwards, her wails preventing me from doing any further damage to myself or grudgingly to this asshole.

“C.unt you did NOT just break my nose!” I watch him hold his bloodied nose in the palm of his hand and I start to panic.

Sh!t did I just do that? What was I thinking? 

You wasn’t Mike – that’s the damn problem! Urgh nows really not the time for my conscience to be kicking in.

The blood trickles down his nose into his mouth and the evil b.astard just stares at me whilst licking away at the fluid like its fine wine or something. He eventually pulls his hand away enough for me to get a good look and immediately I see his nose is in fact crooked! F.uck I’ve broken his god damn nose! No wonder my fist hurts like hell.

I cradle my hand in between my arm and waist and when I see him flash a victorious grin and his top teeth covered in blood, a cold chill runs up and down my spine.

Sh!t what if they’ve caught me on camera? Being arrested the first time was hell, going through a trial was my worst nightmare, what if he sues me? What if they come for me again? I can’t go through that again, I can’t – I-I won’t. I’d rather die than go to prison.

Panic starts to set in and I look pleadingly with my eyes back and forth between BJ and Bill for help.

“Boss it’s cool, we got this okay,” Bill says stepping up to the mark and presenting himself as a barrier between that jive ass turkey and myself.

This is so unlike me, I hate violence, violence is for the weak and I’m better than that. But to see him stood there mocking me with his eyes, taunting me with his sh!t eating grin, the way he looks Ava up and down like she’s some kind of wh.ore sickens me. And this fool deserves to be taken down a peg or two – but f.uck why didn’t I let my guys deal with him? Why didn’t I stick to the plan?

“Baby are you okay?” I hear the worry in Ava’s voice as she looks at the back of my hand inspecting it for any damage.

“Okay ladies and gen—Mr. Martin what in the word has happened to you?” 

“He tripped and fell,” I hear Bill take a handle of the situation.

“FOOL I DID NOT TRIP AND FALL! THAT MOTHER F.UCKER OVER THERE PUNCHED ME—“

“Mr. Lucas CALM DOWN, this is a hospital in case you’ve forgotten. We’re not in some establishment where causing trouble is accepted. Why in the world would Mr. Jack—“ 

“Fool you better start listenin’ with yo ears instead of kissing his paedo wanna be white ass—“ 

“Dr. Carter would you like us to escort Mr. Martin out of the building for you sir? I’m ex LAPD so I know the drill.” 

Nice one Bill, remove his wanna be gangster black ass before I do any damage to my other fist. My jaw has been ticking non-stop ever since we came face to face with this… this cockroach.

Dr. Carter tries his best to placate the fool but for some reason he doesn’t seem to get the message and is intent on getting me kicked out instead of him! But after a few more minutes of frustrating conversation its only when the threat of the police being called does he begin to back up and walk away.

"It ain't over punk - I'll get you, when you LEAST expect it." 
That cold shiver shoots through my spine once again but I push his threats to the side. Wow he's really shown his ass in public.

Ava’s been quiet all the way through this and I know seeing me act this way can’t be easy for her, I just hope she doesn’t think me going around punching guys is the norm.

“Yes walk away fool,” I hear BJ say beneath his breath.

“Doctor we’ve had problems with that man in the past, he’s trouble sir. You should inform security about him, he clearly has mental health issues.” I have to chuckle at Bills white lie, I really need to give these guys a pay rise.

“Uh thank you Mr –“ 

“Whitfield sir, Bill Whitfield.” 

“Well thank goodness we have you gentlemen here today eh?” I watch the Doctor nervously chuckle as he shakes Bills hand gratefully.

“Okay shall we,” he holds his hand out for us to follow and within seconds we’re stood outside a private room – Shawna’s room.

“You gentleman can take a seat over there if you like, I’m afraid access to Miss. Phillips’ room has been restricted to a maximum of two people.” 

I nod at Bill and BJ and they silently take a seat in the cold orange plastic chairs that have been placed against the wall just outside the room.

We enter the room and I feel Ava’s grip on my hand tighten, I yelp slightly from the squeeze she’s giving to my sore hand. But my pain is nothing compared to the sight in front of me - what that poor woman endured is nothing to the pain I'm feeling in my hand.

She looks so small and frail, how any man could lay his hands on someone so tiny confuses the life out of me. It sickens me to the core and seeing the tubes coming out of her mouth, the wires attached to her chest, the liquids flowing to her veins from the drips that have been attached, to the semi-stained bandages that are covering the top of her head.

Her once beautiful face that I saw in the many pictures back at their apartment is covered in black and blue bruises, her lips are cut and swollen and her arms that rest either side of her body on top of the sheets are also severely bruised.

“Oh my god,” I hear my girl whisper more to herself than for my benefit and I have to agree with her – that’s the first thing that popped into my head. When I said I’d like to meet her cousin one day never in a millions years did I think it would be under these circumstances. The sight before me will probably haunt my dreams for a long time to come, but I have to stay strong for my girl, no matter how I’m feeling inside I need to show her I care and that’s what I intend to do.


~~~~


“I need a minute—“ my voice croaks barley a whisper but loud enough for him to say,

“-baby I don’t think you should be alone—“ 

“—Please Michael, just give me a moment alone with her.” 

“Okay baby I-I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” I feel his hand squeeze my shoulder before I hear the door open and close behind them signalling that they’ve left and I sigh.

My mind feels like its fit to burst with all of the questions swirling around inside; how did things become so messy? How could anyone do such a thing? What did she do to deserve this?

I stare at her for a while taking in the sickening sight of my broken cousin just lying there so lifeless… so still. The strands of blonde hair that peaks out of the bandages are coated with dried up blood, her face is un- recognizable, and this person lying here looks nothing like the Shawna I know.

Once again I hear myself loudly sigh in frustration. I feel so helpless, so useless, so scared and frightened that she’ll never recover and panic starts to grip me in its clutches and I’m literally finding it hard to breathe.

I steady myself by holding onto the bed and after a few minutes of deep breaths I manage to calm my jittering nerves. The steady beeps of the monitors helps somewhat, they seem to have a calming affect over me and I take a little comfort in knowing as long as the machines beep – it means she’s still alive.

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP 

I start to count the number of beeps trying to preoccupy my mind from venturing to those dark places that I’m all too familiar with…

twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight….” 

and before long I’ve managed to find the courage needed to make my way over to her eerily still body and its only when I’m merely inches away from her head do I finally take in the extent of her injuries.

For some reason her swollen eye lids are taped shut which I find really odd. Maybe they forgot to remove it after surgery? The skin that surrounds her eyes is like a plethora of colours – blues, purples, yellows… wow I really hate these colours as of now!

Her lips are cut, her cheeks are bruised and dry blood surrounds her nostrils… I bite back the bile that’s slowly creeping into my throat and blinking away the tears that have clouded my eyes I reach down for her battered hand.

“Shawna… can you hear me? I-If you can hear me squeeze my hand… I’m holding yours right now… all you have to do is squeeze back okay?” 

After a while I realize my attempts are futile and she’s not going to squeeze my hand, she’s probably never going to regain consciousness and I might as well prepare myself for that fact now rather than later. But no matter how hard I try to think like that I can’t… she’s all I have left, I can’t give up on her… she has to get better… she’s my family.

“Hey Shawn… if you wake up I’ll introduce you to my boyfriend,” for some reason a small giggle passes my lips. So not the time to be giggling right now I know, but that’s what Michael does to me – he makes me feel all girly and giddy inside.

“I have a secret babe… you know how I told you his name was Mike? Well you’re gonna flip when you find out his last name! You want me to tell you? Okay well if I tell you – you have to promise to wake up okay? You promise? Pinky swear promise too, no crossing your fingers now.” 

I realize I must sound like an idiot right now but the beeping machine that’s hooked up to the many wires that are attached to her body tells me she’s still alive, so I reason that somewhere deep down she can hear me.

“His last name is wait for it… Jackson.” I whisper his name into her ear and once again a small giggle manages to escape my lips.

“Can you believe it babe… Michael Jackson is my man and he really wants to meet you girl so please wake up… I’ll make him moonwalk for you if you wake up… he’s so cute Shawna, you’re gonna love him I know you are… please wake up…” 


~~~~


I watch my girl through the blinds as she leans down and whispers something into her cousin’s ear, before gently running her fingers through Shawna’s knotted blonde hair. She takes her bruised hand inside her own and that’s when I feel a large lump rise inside my throat making it hard for me to swallow. I try to put myself in her shoes and wonder what it must feel like to have no one, to be an only child – an orphaned child at that and that’s when I feel the wetness creep down my cheeks.

Coming from such a large family, I realize I’ve been spoilt. Don’t get me wrong I understand loneliness – sometimes I think I was the epitome of loneliness back in my youth, but now I’m not so sure. I have a wonderful mother whose unconditional love has pulled me through some of my darkest hours, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins in abundance but most importantly I have my three sweet children.

Who does Ava have if Shawna never wakes up?

I want to hold her so badly right now. I want to pull her close and let her know I love her. But I get that she needs some alone time with Shawna.

The familiar sound of Tchaikovsky startles me from my trance and I quickly search for the ringing cell that I had clearly forgotten to mute. I know you’re not supposed to have these things turned on in hospitals so I hope I don’t get into trouble for answering, but when I see Grace’s name flash up, I immediately think there’s something wrong with the children.

“Grace is everything okay?” 

“Michael yes calm down, you sound panic stricken, the kids just wanted to know what time you’d be home. They’re missing you—“ 

“Oh how silly of me of course…” wow being in this surrounding has really fried my nerves but I’m relieved to know the children are fine.

“Uhm are you still at Rebbie’s?” I asked confused. Sh!t what day of the week is it again? It feels like this day has been never ending.

“Yes we are but if you want us to make our way home we can… wait hold on Michael your mother wants to speak with you—“ 

I hear the muffling sound of the phone being passed to my mother and as soon as I hear her sweet sing song voice my hearts melts. How one woman can have such an effect over me I’ll never know but right now hearing her voice is like music to my ears.

“Michael hunny is everything okay? I thought you would have picked the children up by now?” 

Shoot! Is that the time already? I look down at my watch and see that it’s 8.15 pm. I had told mother I would be at Rebbie’s for 7pm. I’m surprised they havent’t called earlier.

“I’m so sorry mother, I guess we—I lost track of time is all. Are the children okay? Have they behaved?” 

“Yes baby they’re fine, a little worried that you’re not here but they’re fine. Hold on Blanket wants to speak to you…” 

“Daddy when are you coming to get us? My heart misses you.” 

“Ah apple- head my heart misses you too. Have you been a good boy for Grandma?” Wow I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed them, even if it has only be a day since I last saw them.

“Yes daddy we’ve been good, well I have anyway. Prince pushed Paris in the pool and made her mad. Grandma wouldn’t let him have any ice cream it was funny daddy.” 

I chuckle at my youngest telling tales on his older brother and immediately I think back to me and Randy when we were small. He would always snitch on me and I would be so p!ssed. I remember one time I took some of mother’s jewellery to give to one of my teachers – Randy was the little snitch that disclosed that I was the culprit and not some neighbourhood kid like she had originally thought. I got my ass spanked well and truly for that little misdemeanour.

Gosh I needed this little pick me up. Just hearing Blankets sweet voice makes me feel ten times better, I know it’ll help Ava too. She loves my kids and they love her – well the boys do anyway. She needs to be surrounded with love and I know they’ll keep her spirits high.

For the next fifteen minutes I forget where I actually am as the phone is passed to Paris and then to Prince and then back to mother and finally to Grace. Hearing my kid’s voices has done me the world of good but as soon as I hang up reality comes crashing back with a loud thud.


~~~~


I hear him enter but I keep my eyes closed. His heady cologne hangs in the air and tickles my nostrils. God I love his smell so much. I try my best to remember what Shawna smells like but it appears I’ve forgotten already.

A single tear escapes my left eye and runs freely down my cheek.

What else am I going to forget should she never wake up?

“I-I can’t remember what she smells like Michael,” I whisper.
I feel his arms encircle my waist and instinctively rest my head on his chest.

“Sssssshhhhhh baby, don’t cry,” he whispers over and over trying to soothe away my fears.

“I told her you’d do the moonwalk for her if she woke up… but e-even that didn’t work…” I fight back the tears. I don’t want to cry anymore but the water keeps spilling from my swollen eyes, like some kind of flood gate has been opened and no matter how hard I try to force it to stop - it just keeps gushing out.

“Baby she’s going to need sometime… her injuries… the surgery…” 

“Will you pray with me Michael?”

“Of course baby lets pray…” 

For the next few seconds I recite the Lord’s Prayer and Michael joins in everyone now and then… I forget he was a Jehovah’s Witness. Do they even say this prayer?

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Being a Catholic I used to hate having to recite this at every school assembly and then before every meal, but saying it right here, right now gives me some kind of comfort and I’m glad I haven’t forgotten it. Who knew I’d finally feel some compassion towards my strict Catholic upbringing eh?

“You feel a bit better babe?” He kisses my cheeks as his hands rub imaginary circles against my stomach and just having him here makes me feel that much more secure. I can’t believe I nearly pushed him away.

“You totally kicked Lucas’ ass baby… thank you…” 
I spin around and place a tender kiss on his mouth.

“You really are my hero you know that?” 

“Happy to be of assistance ma’am,” he says with a goofy grin as he tips his imaginary hat.

“I love you Michael.” 

“I love you more Ava… don’t ever doubt that okay?” 

“Okay…” 

I lay my head on his chest finding comfort in his heart beat, I love to listen to the rhythm of his heart, it’s my favourite sound in the whole wide world.

“Move in with me?” he says after a few minutes of silence has passed between us.

“W-what are y-you serious?” 

“Of course… so will you?” 

“You don’t think she’ll wake up do you?” 

I raise my head off of his chest and look into his chocolate orbs and straight away I see my answer. The flicker of pity flashes briefly across his face and I hate it. I don’t need his pity, I’ll be fine on my own. I’ve done it for so God damn long now I should be used to this feeling of abandonment.

“I don’t need your pity Mich—“ before I can push him away he’s pulled me into a tight embrace. He sees right through me. He knows me too well. My automatic defence system tries to kick in but he’s not letting me. I try to lash out at him but he just holds me even tighter and that’s when I sob. I sob for Shawna, I sob for my dad, I sob for my own pathetic ass.

“It’s okay baby, let it out… let it all out….” so I do.