Chapter 26

“Mmm thank you for last night babe” Michael says against my lips before continuing to show me just how grateful he was for his birthday surprise.

We’ve been sat outside my apartment block for the past fifteen minutes in theback of his car with the curtains drawn between us and the big guys that are sat patiently up front. We both act like love struck teenagers with our kissing and groping and the thought of leaving him after two weeks of heaven has me feeling anxious. I have no idea why I feel this way, but being separated from him makes me feel vulnerable and the thought of going back to my apartment with Lucas still out there makes me nervous as hell. It’s as though a dark cloud has been hanging over me ever since the spiking incident and whenever I try to talk to Michael about you-know-who he keeps brushing me off telling me he’s going to take care of it!

That thought alone makes me sick with worry. I mean I know Michael has protection in the form of his big guys as I like to call them but seriously they’re not the mob! I know they can be scary looking and intimidating at times but from what I’ve seen they do not have any screws lose, well not like Lucas anyway.

Trying my best to push away these worrisome thoughts I melt back into him as our lips continue to devour one another hungrily as though we’re trying to seize the moment, not knowing when we’ll get to do this again.

“You’re welcome” I say breathlessly as I grudgingly push him off of me so that I can get straightened out before leaving the car. I start with my shirt which has been unbuttoned without me even knowing it by my clever horny man and I just flash Michael a smirk as he eyes my heaving cleavage before I cover them back up completely.

I run my fingers through my hair trying my best to make myself look semi-presentable before exiting the car all the while Michael’s gaze never breaks from mine.

“What?” I ask him quizzically as his eyes fix on my face trying my best to read his thoughts. I watch him turn his head and stare blankly ahead at my apartment block through the thick tinted windows.

“Well…” he says mischievously “aren’t you going to invite me in?” 

That was the last thing I expected to come tumbling out of his mouth and I feel the blood rush into my cheeks with embarrassment. I mean it’s not like our apartment is a sham or anything but compared to the extravagance that is his rented mansion or to some of the hotel suites we’ve stayed in recently I guess I’m a little nervous to let him see how un-glamorous our place is.

I mean don’t get me wrong compared to some of the hell holes I’ve rented in the past this place is a palace and my cousin really does has good taste when it comes to furnishings but still…

“I… I… well I thought you’d need to get home… ya know to the kids…” I squirm slightly in my seat as I digest the reality of the situation. I mean I still have to pinch myself whenever I wake up beside him but being able to keep my reality away from his has sort of made me feel more secure about our relationship. I know it probably sounds stupid but having him in my world is a lot scarier to think about than me being in his.

“Ava… Ava… baby…” I hear him say as he clicks his fingers in front of my face breaking me from my trance.

“Girl you ok?” he asks worried.

“Uh y-yeah I uh just wasn’t expecting you to ask me that is all” I reply nervously. The way I’m feeling right now reminds me of the night we met. The night he saved me and made me realize that money and things can’t give you happiness, not like what we have. So why am I so hung up about asking him in? Why do I have butterflies flapping wildly in the pit of my stomach? Maybe it’s because I’m worried about Shawna being home but something has me bugging… and hard! 

After informing his minders up font I exit the car first making sure the coast is clear and once I enter my building Michael soon after follows. Sometimes it feels like I’m living in a dream world or that I’m living some kind of secret life with all of this sneaking around we’ve been doing as of late and never being able to leave the car the same time as Michael or be seen in public without disguises feels like I’m in the CIA or something! No scratch that, Michael is probably way more secretive than the CIA could ever be and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m cut out for all of this!

With his customary baseball cap, aviators and face mask in place we make our way to the shiny elevator bank as I repeatedly press the call button. I guess you could say it’s an impatient habit of mine that I jab the button over and over as though by doing so the elevator will magically speed up but it’s only when I hear Michael chuckle behind me that I remember that he’s actually here.

“Girl are you okay?” I hear him say as he clasps my hand when we enter the elevator. With his knowing eyes hidden behind his sunglasses I find myself able to lie to him as I shake my head that I’m fine. Truth be told I’m not, I have this overwhelming feeling of impending doom wash over me like a tidal wave and call it intuition, call it sixth sense, but the both times I’ve felt this way before in the past - well quite literally my world was turned upside down!

“Is this your floor?” he asks as the elevator doors ping open and once again I’m unable to form any words so I settle for shaking my head. I start to make my way out of the elevator but he pulls me back, jerking me once again from my deep brooding thoughts.

“Baby what’s wrong?” he asks as he pins me to the elevator wall and begins to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand. I hate the fact that I can’t see his eyes and at this very moment I really hate his disguise but he must sense this as he quickly removes his sunglasses silently letting me know he’s read my thoughts.

“Well what if my cousin is at home? She’s such a blabber mouth and if she finds out we’re ya know together well she’ll—”

His finger silents my talking as he presses it to my lips and straight away I smell the familiar scent of strawberry’s, baby powder and sweat that I’m so accustomed to by now. Instantly I feel my eyes water at the foreboding feelings of the "what if’s" that seem to mess with my head ever since the “spiking” incident. Its like that night unlocked a secret passage way to my mind that whenever I feel immensely happy my brain has to counteract a happy thought with a sad or worrying one and right now all I seem to think is “things are too good to be true at the moment!” And once again like the best lover, friend and human being I’ve ever had or known he must sense it as his dark, piercing orbs fix on my face and with just one look he has my stomach in knots as the butterflies return with a vengeance; something it appears that only he knows how to do. I’ve never experienced this kind of intensity with a man before and the overshadowing feeling of worry quickly gets replaced with something else as I feel the satin touch my lips when he leans in for a cloth covered kiss.

My traitor of a body instinctively melts into his embrace as his hand pulls at my waist melding our bodies together. Our mouths find each other and even though he’s still wearing his silk surgical mask that doesn’t stop us from enjoying a sensuous kiss minus the tongues.

The low moan of approval that escapes from deep inside my throat isn’t lost on him and before I know it he’s lowered his mask and is sucking on my tongue with such fervour that tells me if we don’t slow down we’ll end up doing it right here, right this moment in this very elevator.

“Mmmm b-baby… b-baby stop” I say breathlessly pushing him away gently trying my best to cool things between us.

“Girl tell me you don’t want this?” he breathes heavily into my ear as he places my hand on his hardened member that is pressing eagerly against his black jeans.

Instinctively I feel my teeth grip tightly on my bottom lip as I bite down hard when his eyes seem to burn a hole through my very being. I see him undressing me with those knowing chocolate orbs and after a few seconds it gets too much, I’m unable to hold his gaze as it appears he’s looking right into my very soul and I don’t like it. The thought of what he might uncover scares me, the realization that I’m nobody and he’s a somebody might dawn on him and I’m frightened that this is all going to be over before it’s really started….

*Flashback*

It was a little over a week ago that I had stumbled upon a conversation that had literally broke my heart into several pieces and ever since then I’ve found it hard to stay positive no matter what Michael may tell me about us or our future as a couple. I hate that I’ve even let her words get to me but the insecure part of me, the part that still can’t fathom or believe that out of 6.8 billion people walking this planet he picked little ol’ me to start a relationship with!

It had been a week since that dreadful Lucas incident and Mike had insisted that I stayed with him and the children for a while until I felt like my old self. The first couple of days I was pretty much like a zombie as the drugs seemed to linger in my system for way longer than they ever should but leave it to Lucas to spike me with only the finest sh!t eh?!

So on the 6th day of my stay I had finally relaxed enough to not feel like an awkward house guest and rather I started to feel more like a resident atCasa del Jackson.

After another night and morning of “making up for lost time” as Michael put it (let’s just say the drugs did more than f.uck with my head, they also f.ucked with my libido – big time and this in turn did nothing to help my boyfriend’s frustrations)! Well anyway my appetite had returned with a vengeance and seeing as though it was now 11.30am I decided that I would whip us up some much needed food.

I knew the children had already started their schooling as I was to learn that this was required by Michael and mandatory for the children, every Monday to Friday at 8.30am precisely; so I figured the coast would be clear for me to do my own thing.

Only when I got to the hall and was inches away from the kitchen doorway did I hear the familiar mild-African tone of the children’s nanny/governess Grace and my good friend Bill –not! 

After the whole spiking incident I thought Bill had started to warm up to me but as soon as it was confirmed I would be okay he went straight back to being big, intimidating, only-speak-when-spoken-too Bill. It was so frustrating because he really had shown me a sweet side to him for the first couple of days but now it’s like I’m seen as some kind of nuisance in my own man’s house and his attitude is starting to wear thin.

“Have you talked to Michael about her yet?” I hear Grace say in a somewhat hushed tone as I quietly make my way nearer to the kitchen door trying my best not to make a sound. I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop on conversations but as soon as I heard the word “her” and the way it was spat out with such distaste I quickly figured I was the subject they were referring too.

I hear Bill take in a long breath then pause before saying in his rich deep tone ”No Grace I haven’t and quite frankly why are you starting this again? Maybe she’s genuine… maybe she’s not like the others!” 

Others? I know Michael isn’t a saint when it comes to women it’s quite clear from the “skills” he’s amassed in the bedroom but to be frank hearing the word “others” has the same effect on me as knife being driven through my guts. Straight away I’m curious to know what number notch I am on his bedpost and how many other woman he’s said “I love you” to prior to me. I know I have no right to be jealous and that everyone has a past but hearing me being tarred with the same brush as his previous relationships or whatever the heck they were has my stomach quite literally dropping to the floor.

They must be drinking coffee or something because I hear her bang her cup down loudly on the kitchen table clearly in frustration before she says [I] “Bill how many times do I have to tell you, she’s just like them, all of them! Only out for one thing and once they get it who’s left to pick up the pieces? You do remember we quite literally had to pick him up of the floor after Blanket’s mom upped and left don’t you? Or has her upstairs pretty face scrambled with your twenty-twenty vision too?”

Wow she sounds so…mad! What in the world is this woman talking about?

Hearing her referring to Blanket’s mom has really piqued my interest. I won't lie I've been curious about her ever since Michael told me she was best not talking about after I had inquired as to where she was and why she wasn't around for the baby. He is such a cute kid and I found it hard to believe that any woman in their right mind would abandon their child, especially one as adorable as that little boy. He is so loving and so caring just like his daddy… quite the little monkey too… just like his daddy but for some reason I guess Michael doesn’t trust me enough to tell me why she isn’t around. So needless to say, this being an off-subject topic naturally has me wanting to know more and Grace’s reference to her has made me all the more curious.

“Look I think this time is different and I think if we know what’s good for us we’ll leave the boss’ love life to him. He’s not stupid Grace, he hasn’t really been with anyone not like this since…” 

I hear Bill mumble a name that I can’t quite make out - damn! It’s like he’s afraid to speak her name or something but what he says next confirms that he’s talking about Blanket’s mom.

“Six years ago I thought we’d never get him off the floor I’ll admit and ever since then he’s said the same thing over and over to me Grace – just sex, no attachments!” 

I hear Grace’s sharp intake of breath at Bills admission and it takes all of my will to stifle back the giggle that is forming in the back of my throat. My baby is such a damn playa!

Why the heck I’m laughing at this revelation I’ll never know but the thought of me meaning more to Mike than these other women and Grace’s reaction to this has me all giddy with excitement. Even though I can sense I have a battle on my hands with Grace, hearing Bill’s positive words concerning me makes me feel a little more secure in my relationship with Mike. Leave it to a stranger to have the power to push some of my insecurities to the side yet when my man tells me how much I mean to him - all I do is secretly question him and his feelings.

I hear Bill continue “but these past two months I’ve seen old Mike back, he’s not as anxious or on edge as he has been for so long and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who’s the reason for this sudden change in attitude!” 

God I love Bill so much right now! All I want to do is hug him or maybe I should get him a bottle of something to thank him for being so nice… and there’s me thinking he was a big old jerk, when really he’s just a big old softie. That’ll teach me for being so judgemental!

“Well I don’t like her Bill and neither does Paris and there’s no way I’m having my baby upset over some two-dollar hoe who’s old enough to be his daughter!” 

And there you have it! That’s what literally ripped my heart from my chest as I watched in horror it seems as a hungry pack of coyotes feasted on it for super. At least that’s what it felt like!

Needless to say I didn’t lurk around for much longer, I couldn’t bear to hear anymore garbage come from Grace’s mouth so I silently made my way back up to his bedroom, locked myself in his bathroom and cried… for two hours straight!

*Back to the present*

“Baby talk to me…” he says softly cupping my face in both of his large hands as his eyes fix on my own once again trying to unearth how I’m feeling inside. I mean what do I tell him? How do I answer him without sounding like an insecure little girl? I’ve never been in love like this before and it scares me so much! Couple that with Grace and worrying myself sick over Lucas and his punk ass and what I’m doing with my life or should I say with what I’m not doing with it and what do you have? A big old mess!

I feel him squeeze my hands inside his as though he’s coercing me to speak but quite frankly my head is all over the place. Last night I was prepared to say yes to his impromptu proposal but now I seem to be questioning everything we’ve said over the past twenty-four hours and I have no reason as to why I’m feeling like this!

“Mike let’s go inside, somewhere more private” I say as I press the seventh floor on the elevator panel once more.

A look of sadness creeps across his face and I sense that he’s bracing himself for what I’m about to say but the truth of the matter is this; I have no clue whatsoever why my mood has change so drastically and why all of a sudden I’m feeling so anxious or insecure.

When the elevator doors ping open he quietly follows my lead and I watch him reposition his face mask over his mouth from the corner of my eye as we shuffle our way towards my apartment. I hope to goodness that the place is tidy and Shawna hasn’t decided to dump any of her crap in the living room. I guess you could say I’m a neat freak and it drives me insane every time I come home from work to find thigh high boots, or five inch stilettos just left lying on the floor after she’s haphazardly removed them and tossed them to one side, too lazy to put them where they belong!

It beats me how she can’t seem to grasp the simply task of putting her sh!t away but as she likes to remind me every time I b!tch at her that it’s her apartment and she’ll “do whatever the hell she wants to do, whenever the hell she want’s to do it!” 

I take a deep breath as I turn the key in the lock and thank my lucky stars when after a few moments of searching and calling out her name it appears our apartment is both tidy and Shawna free…