Chapter 4

A month had passed since that wonderful yet nauseating night.

When I think back on what I was preparing myself to do... what I was letting myself in for... well I feel sick at even the thought of it now.
At the same time though, I realize that if I hadn’t gone through with said night, I would never had met him.

I’ve never been a believer of fate. I’ve always thought that it was up to me to make my own destiny. After all, what did I ever do to deserve the s**t thrown my way over the years? Believing in fate only meant that I believed I deserved all that had happened to me in the past, but now...

Well, I just couldn’t believe that it was merely a coincidence that we met. I mean how could it be, right? Just as I was about to lose my moral compass for good, he stepped into the picture.

He saved me. I truly meant it when I told him that and now I felt like I was indebted to him in some way. I felt like I needed to show him I was a good woman really and that I wasn’t promiscuous, just scared and confused by my reality.

I had stayed low key for the past month. I had shocked and disgusted myself that night and I knew eventually I’d have to explain myself to Lucas. He was pissed, I knew he was pissed, Shawna had told me that he was pissed. He’d even made several visits to my apartment over the past month but all I can say is thank the lord for spy holes. Of course I knew I’d have to explain myself to him sooner or later but until then all I could think about washim.

I really didn’t think he would call. I had convinced myself of so many reasons why he wouldn’t, namely concerning the reason why I was at the club that night. That would be a big turn off for any man, right?

Wrong.

He did call. At first I thought I was dreaming, well technically I was. After my brain finally stopped reviewing the events of the evening and I finally dozed off to sleep it was around four am. I remember looking at the big red numbers on my alarm clock and praying silently that sleep would come. I was mentally drained and felt physically exhausted.

I must have been in one of those really deep sleeps because when I eventually came too, I felt disoriented and groggy. But then I remembered he said he’d call and the phone was ringing...and ringing...and ringing...

When I did eventually answer and heard that soft low drawl of his... well that’s when the word fate popped into my head.

We talked for what seemed like hours. In fact it was only forty minutes as he had to attend a meeting with his lawyers for some up and coming business proposals that he had in the pipeline.

He had shyly informed me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and was it okay if he called back later? My response, “Hell yea,” to which he chuckled and said he was looking forward to it.

I had to pinch myself when I put the phone down as I still couldn’t get over how easy it was to talk to him.

After that first initial call, we’ve talked to each other every day non-stop for a solid month now. Early on in the month I had given him the shift times that I would be working at the bar and he made sure he called me either before or after those times, sometimes both, but he also made sure those times fitted around his kids.

I loved how devoted he seemed to his children and he would constantly tell me funny stories of some of the things they would say or do. He seemed like a big kid himself at times, especially when we discussed such trivial things such as our favorite foods, movies, books and even comic books.

He got so excited at the mention of comic books and had even asked if I could keep a secret. When I laughed and told him I could, he then told me (in a hushed manner) that he had been working on a comic book for a few years now and was in the process of working with a publisher (which was part of Random House) to get it finalized. Suffice to say, me being majorly impressed by the revelation is such an understatement but we even joked around about possible arch enemies that he could use in future editions. He got a real kick out of some of the names I had come up with and what their special powers would be, especially the smutty ones. Let’s just say it’s quite apparent already that I’m not the only one with a dirty mind. He can tell some dirty jokes of his own and he’s not as sweet and innocent as he makes out - if you know what I mean!

So now I guess you could say we’re friends. Unbelievable I know, but already it seems as though we’re relying on each other to simply get us through each day.
To me he’s like a drug and even though I hate the thought of taking any substance that would impair my body or mind... I’m hooked. I can’t get enough of him and every day I want more and more. I almost feel greedy for taking up so much of his time but he doesn’t seem to care. In fact I’m starting to think he feels the same as he said he wants to see me again.

So that’s where I’m heading now. I’ve agreed to let Javon come pick me up and we’re going to hang at his suite instead of talking on the phone tonight. I must admit I do feel guilty about his phone bill as he’s been the one to call me all month, so I’ve insisted on paying for the pizza and the movie. He did protest a lot to that request at first but when I told him I wouldn’t come over unless I paid, he finally caved in to my demands.

I’m so excited to see him again but I’m anxious too. The what if’s have started to flood my brain again but as the knock on the door pulls me from my reverie I once again think that somehow...someway...all of this might just be...fate.